I bet cavemen never thought grass-fed, organic (wait, it was only grass-fed and organic back then) meat would be available fully cooked and wrapped up in a rectangular block. Actually, who would've known meat would become the next granola bar? Clearly my imagination was stunted by seeing mystery meat sticks only in the form of long thin cylindrical shapes!
There's a growing number of meat bars out there now, even one made locally here in Missoula. But if you're like me, you might be feeling skeptical. I saw meat bars popping up at the store next to my usual granola/power/nut bars and thought, "Ew. WEIRD. I kinda want to try it, but it's probably gross. But Chipotle flavored? Hmm...." Well I decided to try a few for you so you don't have to spend $2.99 on potentially gross rectangle bar of meat.
Okay, I kid. They're not gross. Only one is and only sometimes.
I tried EPIC's Habanero Cherry Beef, OMNIBAR Chipotle Beef, and EPIC Pulled Pork Pineapple for this Snack Down and below are the specs.
1. EPIC Habanero Cherry Beef: The tartness was sort of surprising and took some getting used to. I'm not sure I liked it, but felt compelled to eat it all. I kept expecting it to be chewy like beef jerky, but it crumbled rather easily. I think I would eat it again especially considering the amount of protein.
2. OMNIBAR Chipotle Beef: Wow! (And that's not the good kind.) I admit I was a bit hungry when I ate my bar, but I have to say it's a hard one to swallow - literally. The texture is really really strange. It reminded me of the recycled paper we used to make out of old newspapers back in elementary school - remember that? The chipotle flavor is 10xs better than the Mango Curry (one I tried a while back that made me gag a little), but that's not saying much.
I don't mean to sound so harsh in this review of OMNIBAR, especially since they're a local company and all, but I can't recommend it. I love that they're 100% grass fed, local, etc, but [insert squished weirdy face here]. I bet you want to try one now, don't you. What's wrong with your fascination of abomination? Go ahead, try it. Tell me what you think.
3. EPIC Pulled Pork Pineapple: Have you ever had a Costco polish dog + soda for $1.50? Well, if you have (admit it), I guarantee you had to re-live that polish dog via burps for the rest of the day. This pork bar has the same exact effect. It was the tastiest one of the three and I'd eat it again. It's more smokey than pineappley, and if you don't mind those burps, I'd recommend trying this one.
So who's the winner?
Winner of this Snack Down is: EPIC Pork. Hands down. For 15g of protein, reasonable flavor, and nice texture, this one's the clear winner.
Runner-up: EPIC Beef. High in protein, fine flavor, reasonable texture. Would definitely scarf this down if I were hungry.
Which one would you try?